Acquaintance Etiquette

Q.  How do I break up with my hairdresser?

A.  This is always a conundrum, so my response..., "it depends".  If your relationship has stayed on the stylist-client level you can choose to let them know you are making a change (you do not have to give a reason), or not.  However, if like most of us you are racked with guilt over the prospect of being unfaithful to your stylist because you have developed a (sort-of) friendship, my suggestion is to be honest that you are making a change - the bandaid approach is best.  If it is cost related it may be good for your stylist to understand the impact price changes make with existing clientele.  If you are unhappy with the results and it's a style preference, that's easy enough to say, you have different style needs.  If quality has decreased, you may want to see what else is going on (they have become a friend after all) but let them know you need to make a change for now.  Doing something other than just disappearing without a word after years of appointments may make the unexpected encounter slightly less awkward (...slightly).  Having said all this, you are under no obligation to explain how you will spend your money.  Remember, this is their profession so unless this is a long time friend, clients coming and going are part of the deal.   

Party Manners

Q:  Do I have to bring a hostess gift to a casual dinner if I’m told not to bring anything?

A:  You don’t have to bring a hostess gift, but you should, and it is certainly a nice thing to do.  It can be even the smallest bouquet from your own yard.  It shows appreciation for efforts.  And, always send a thank you of some sort (be it email, handwritten note, text or phone call).  It matters. 

Q:  What do I do if I brought a bottle of wine to an event where the hosts do not drink? 

A:  Apologize.  They will understand if you didn’t know (it won’t be the first time).  And, ask if they would like to keep the bottle (some hosts will offer wine to guests even if they do not imbibe) or if they prefer you to keep it.  Perhaps follow up with a note.

Q:  When can I use paper napkins and when do I need cloth?  

A:  Paper can be used when it is just the immediate family at home (or serving a gaggle of kids of any age).  Use cloth for guests of any kind (even your adult children coming over for a nice dinner) – it shows them that you think highly of them (and let’s face it, we all like to know that).  Side note:  niceties such as the above set the tone for an evening and for behavior.

Q:  When can I check my cell phone when out to dinner?

A:  Is it a date, well then, never at the table (obviously).  Excuse yourself and check in the restroom.  Are you concerned about something that may need your attention (children, emergency)?  Inform your companion and ask if they mind if you check.  If you are out with a group of friends, chances are they are all on their own phones so will not notice.