It was not necessarily intentional that my list of Life’s Shoulds began with kindness. It just came to mind first because, well, don’t we all strive to be kind? And, I believe fervently in manners and kindness sums up in one word how to have good manners.
However, more often than not this statement is made in order to impress others with our magnanimity (don’t cringe, you know people often do things just to get a pat on the back). So, I really had to think about why this came to mind first when I started my list. Was I writing it to set up a belief that I myself am magnanimous and want everyone to know it? And, if that were true, would I then not really be as good a person as I think by doing something so self-serving? If I’m honest this may be a little true, or at least it started out a little true. This didn’t make me feel very good.
But then, the more I thought about it the more I realized I wasn’t just being glib or trying to impress. I realized kindness, and being kind to all people, is the crux of well, everything. When we are kind to others, it does so many wonderful things. Yes, yes, it encompasses one of my main beliefs, good manners. But, even more importantly, it lets others know we care; that they matter in some way. A simple hello, thank you or even just a head nod or wave can have a lasting impact. People then feel good, they feel heard, acknowledged and perhaps go on to be kind to others – you know, the “pay it forward” principle. But even beyond that, we ourselves feel good; we experience the benefit of kindness and feel just a bit more upbeat and empowered. Then, so many other life challenges, previously seeming insurmountable, become surmountable – we feel hopeful and think positively. And, (now this makes me smile a little smugly) we go on to do so many other Life’s Shoulds without even realizing it. Tell me, how can this be bad?
So you see, there is a very good reason Be Kind to All People is Life’s Shoulds #1 – it’s really the only Should you need.
[Thought to be considered while enjoying a Chocolate Chip Cookie (with or without nuts as is your preference) and a nice cup of coffee.]