I’ll be the first to admit that yes, I like nice things. I like going out to dinner, I like shoes, I like handbags, I like clothes (although shopping is not my favorite) and I like seeing new places. Does all that make me shallow? Probably. But, what I cannot abide is buying any of these items if I cannot afford it. Have I been lucky in my life to not really need for anything? Absolutely. My single mother kept a roof over our head, food on the table and respectably clothed, but I did not grow up “well off.” Most of my friends were the same. And what I remember about growing up in my small town is that it didn’t really matter whose family had money, or who’s had none. So, as an adult, it remains a mystery to me why people will make poor long-term financial decisions just for the sake of appearances or, as they say, just to “keep up with the Jones’.” Does anyone ever stop to ask if the Jones’ are even people we want to keep up with? I’m mean really, why the @$#% do we care so much what they think?
If you ask me (not that you have) living a life based on the judgment of others is unseemly. Yet many of us (myself included) can get caught up in this, and we have since childhood. I often see very bright people buy a house they cannot afford, buy a car they cannot afford, buy a meal they cannot afford, or join a gym or club they cannot afford, just so others will perceive them a certain way and we somehow equate that to being “better” than others. I have met people in all demographics and one thing I know for sure, having money and status in no way makes a one person “better” than the other. Different opportunities? Sure. Exposure to more in the world? Absolutely. Better? Not even a little. People are people. Some are good. Some suck. Money doesn’t change that.
What I admire and respect is a person who can openly live their life within their means and is willing to take steps to plan. I do not care what “neighborhood” a person lives in, where they shop or what benefit or gala they attend. Nor do I care to hear about their “well-off” friends - more often than not you will find me excusing myself from a conversation when people begin boasting about their lifestyle. My husband and I made specific choices when we came together. Both of us worked very had to buy our own homes, save, etc. So, as we began to move up in our careers we chose (with purpose) to live in “lesser” homes than our contemporaries, drive “lesser” cars than our contemporaries, and frankly, give the Jones’ the finger. We chose instead to use savings we had to invest in our and the kids’ future, set up for retirement and spend any extra on family vacations and adventures for great future memories. Keep in mind we lived in one of those “so what kind of car do you drive” areas so we felt pressure from the Jones’. And sometimes I would be envious, until I stopped to think, “who are these #$%* Jones’ anyway, and why the &*%$ should I care what they think?
See Life Should's #1 & #4.