I find this to be a depressing topic. It seems we’ve forgotten that chivalry (not the medieval version, but the more modern use of the term) does not have to mean chauvinism or “old-fashioned” therefore unnecessary. And, we have no one to blame but ourselves. Chivalry, in my mind is really just being polite in day-to-day life. Yes, it emphasizes gentlemanly behavior for men but is that really a bad thing when you think about it? At the same time I think it also emphasizes more ladylike behavior for women; also not a bad thing. Those two statements do NOT translate to the demeaning of women or any type of person. It means such things as holding the door open for someone (by the way, we women are more than capable of holding the door open for people in need as well), giving up your seat on the bus or train, carrying the grocery’s for an elderly person, saying “thank you” to a waitperson; these are all things that should be second nature to us all. It is just basic respect. I think it also encourages better behavior from others. Yet, somehow, over time, we seem to have stopped not only teaching this version of politeness but also valuing it. Few people bother holding open a door or getting up to let an elderly person sit on a bus, let alone looking up from their phone to acknowledge a waiter or grocery clerk. We spend so much time on our mobile devices that we have become numb to the world around us and put no stock in giving even the tiniest bit of ourselves to make someone else’s day easier. I fear we have forgotten that it actually feels good to do a nice thing for someone. I see regularly young men walking five steps ahead of their girlfriends/companions then walk through a door without bothering to even backhand hold it. I’ve seen people talking on their phones while checking out at a grocery store, not even acknowledging the clerk (as if they were of no importance). When did we become so self-absorbed that basic manners are too much to bother with?
I do fear it may be our own fault. We’ve allowed the cyber world to dictate our social connections and this world, the cyber world I mean, requires absolutely no social skills. And, I do also think some of us in earlier decades went too far with feminism, (in terms of general politeness among men and women) perhaps taking offense when a man held a door open; but, honestly, today I think we have just given up on valuing a respect for others. We need to remember, being polite and helpful isn’t giving something up or diminishing another, it’s improving our own self too.