Giving the "benefit of the doubt"

One of my great pet peeves is being late.  Of course it happens but I make a great effort to avoid it at all costs.  I also have this same expectation for others and I believe it to be a good example to set.  Yet, there are exceptions to the rule and I was reminded of this recently when an appointment arrived 20 minutes late.  My initial assumption was that this person was lackadaisical and irresponsible, and more interested in her phone than taking the reason for the meeting seriously.  Here’s what I found out.  She had to take two buses to get to our appointment, one of which ran late.  She was relying on someone to pick up her child while she was away so was concerned and keeping an eye on her phone.  Finally, and, equally important, it was all a very new experience for her to be at our appointment in the first place and her fear and insecurity manifested in aloofness and silence.  She expected to be turned away and treated poorly so entered our facility with a tougher attitude.   The lesson for me, she made a great effort to be there given her life circumstances and I was about to dismiss her instead of demonstrate caring, understanding and opportunity.  I wasn't giving her the benefit of the doubt. 

See Life Should #19

Be Genuine

I once asked an incredibly successful businessman what he believed was the most important thing he did to succeed in life.  The response? “Being genuine”.  It is so simple yet so often ignored.  Being genuine is the simplest thing we can do in life and helps us do what we say we will do (see Life Should #5).  It means you do not say things just to make someone happy. It also means you do not have to be rude or purposefully hurtful by speaking your mind.  It means you are being honest and truthful about, well, anything, even if it makes someone unhappy at the time. 

Getting Older in the Modern World

When is it exactly we cross over into being “old”?  And, why is it so hard to notice?  It’s like a switch.  One day, you are hip and “in the know” of all things cool (side note, I have learned that using the phrase “in the know” is a clear indication of being neither hip nor cool), the next day you are just, as my stepson once said to me, “past your prime”.  You are smacked in the face with it.  You are saying things your parents or grandparents were saying while once upon a time you rolled your eyes with utter disdain.  

Why am I writing about this today?  Because my husband and I recently and unsuspectingly had a conversation about how music today requires so little real talent, young people no longer have respect and, what happened to the American work ethic After 10 or so minutes of this we stopped, looked at each other and with a combination of horror and dread, said, “when did we turn into our parents?”  Is it inevitable? We like to think of ourselves as those older people that are still “on-trend”.  We are open to technology.  We dress age appropriately but yet with style (so I believe).  Yes, it’s true I will never let go the greatness of the 80s.  Oh, the music, especially the music.  I mean really, has there been another Morrissey, the Go-Go’s, Madonna or Pat Benetar?  Okay, so the fashion may not be the best decade we have seen (I cower at the thought shoulder pads might make a comeback) but even there you can find an ambition that I don’t think we see today. 

I think my point, growing older is inevitable.  Yet, I think we may fight it without even realizing it and then are always surprised to find out it happened.  Yes, we should all grow old gracefully.   But damn it, does it have to slap us across the face when we least expect it?  It’s just rude.